“New Year Resolutions” and the word “failure” go hand in hand and should always be in the same sentence. And in this magical
Christmas Miracle” time of year, my Facebook timeline is overrun by everyone asking what our new resolutions are? Hog wash! I am old enough now to realize it is all nonsense, though well wishing. We all have such admirable intentioned hopes, but as we age we realize we might give those thoughts a 30, 60, 90 day run before abandonment, distraction or boredom and most certainly as the years add up, plum failure.
My mind has been running amuck thinking…….again. That’s what happens when your body logs MANY miles. You all think I have gained a few extra pounds this year, but the truth is I have amassed so much info….I am actually “in storage”! You knew that was coming. But truthfully I am over spilling with thoughts and facts, ideas and self history. So in conclusion and a new beginning, this year is about “me”, all about “me” and about doing things to please “ME”!
Do not think for one moment I am in love with myself or adore myself. I am not one of those people AT ALL. History dictated two parents living their own separate lives, interrupted by my presence, causing me scars I have had to deal with all my life. Never one sentence of advice on how to live a life as in those wonderful Hallmark Christmas movies. Wrong decisions as an adult brought more scarring and tears and rips in my spirit. And heartbreaks continue from those decisions…..
Sixteen wonderful years as a divorced woman…hand in hand with my Lord and Savior, brought me to a quiet place of contentment and joy, now READY for Russ when he walked into my life. Five years later I have become yet another different person. There are new ways of thinking that I have learned from my husband as he has shared advice on what his father and mother taught him. Advice new to me…..
I’m discarding false, manipulative thinking that I need to put aside my feelings when it comes to other people. “It’s all about them” is a lie. Quiet and peace is my life now because I have learned to first consider MY thoughts and reactions to others who have seriously harmed me. I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE, but I will honor my feelings about not being around them, because IT IS NOT ABOUT THEM, it is about the scarring I cannot see through.
So 2019 is not about what I’m going to do, it’s about what I’m NOT going to do so I can stay true to myself to enjoy life to the fullest! Thank you Lord, for my faith, for the TRUTH, for the blessings, for the sorrows and especially for the gift of laughter and tears YOU gave me.
Four more months till garage sales start. Cleaning out the garage today!
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