All my life I’ve had certain difficulties I’ve lived with because that’s just the way I am. Transposing numbers for one…you see 31, I see 13…But as I’ve grown older, there have been patterns that I’ve never been able to overcome, one of the toughest being in High School English class. The worst test was where there was given a one paragraph story and I had to answer a, b, or c, or the nightmare of having to make a statement as to what the author was saying. I NEVER saw what was the teacher’s right answer…. I always read something else in that written word. My summations always got an “F”. It set the stage for how it has been for me all my life. You say “this is black…..” hmm… I say “maybe”…but I’m thinking, “you have gone blind and lost your mind!” I see YELLOW ! !
I SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY.
Maybe because I have green eyes like my father. I understand I am a small percentage of people…..Maybe because both of my parents were left handed and they thought on the wrong side of their brains……. Whatever was wrong here, in my mind, must have imploded when God created me and presented me to these people. Maybe that union ended up causing me dyslexia, taking me a lifetime of putting this pattern together, outside the box, to realize that all this chaos of being who I am, God has really gifted me in all my obvious disabilities. The joy of discovering who I am, especially why I am, methinks, is not something everybody comes to know of themselves in their lifetime.
A person has to seek knowledge. There are more things to know. You are not done learning because you hold a diploma in your hand. That is the beginning of learning…..I have spent all my life reading…..BOOKS……. autobiographies……..currently 8 magazine subscriptions……..inscriptions on the walls of museums. You have to know what’s going on in the world. You must know how other people think and why….(I must make endless corrections to my typing as I constantly transpose letters, also) I must know things so I can figure out how I fit into this world, what is my purpose….
So my decorating has to be different. I don’t want what everyone has, I want my circle of life to be one of a kind. I don’t want anything “store bought”, I want something created by someone…..I love unusual. I am so happy that Russ has learned to live with the bicycle on the dining room wall, a gorgeous buffet item. That space needed a huge picture and realizing that we would never agree on art, that was my only solution. Thank you Joanna Gaines. You flashed it before my eyes on your HGTV show!
The metal Christmas package is another eclectic form of art I love. The Christmas tree Russ picked out. I believe the man is seeing new things through my eyes. Just wanting to be different…myself. My coffee table, a conglomeration of items depicting that piece of furniture. Lockers in the bedroom, rusted gold, I like it that way….
But the greatest discovery has been recent, another piece of the puzzle. I have always wanted to be a writer. At night in my sleep I would write magnificent chapters, at times, writing sentences on a notepad next to my bed, notes to keep this fresh on my mind. And yet upon waking I would be overcome with the amount of work it would take to rethink the passion of what I had put together. Never could I take wakeup time and concentrate and finish….That has been such a tragedy to realize that I would get bored….I was such a failure because I couldn’t follow thru to fruition. Who knew that dyslexia would have such far reaching fingers………..never mind there were 5 children to raise.
Two years ago, IN MY HOME DESIGN MAGAZINES…..I saw that many women were “blogging” about how to repurpose furniture, how to paint, how to plant well planned out garden plots, how to, how to….my gosh! I could do that ! ! ! ! I bought the “for Dummies” books, bought a new lap top that would hold the capacity for a blogger….and set up the site for my blog……byegonegaragesaling.com. I am self-taught. What is the magic? It’s that I finally figured out that my short attention deficit, my dyslexia, does not affect 2 hours of putting together this blog! ! ! ! I found my purpose, my place, I am a writer, a very short story writer, not having to fit any grammatical rules, just sharing for my own pleasure. Thank you, Jesus.
