I believe we live parallel lives. Have you ever noticed when you buy a new vehicle, everyone on the road also has the same, AND in your color? Forever ago I had my gall bladder removed only to discover I was the last person on earth to have that done, as everyone had done that YEARS BEFORE and bought the t-shirt….so needless to say when I had my knees replaced the neighborhood consulted me regarding my recovery. Why did I need a doctor?
Death touches the family. Through the process of losing our family member, we started conversations with our friends, with the hospice community, with anyone who would take a listen. Wow! The stories…before death…it seems that human nature seems to run the same in all families. As one nurse put it..SSDD….Same _ _ _ _ Different Day. Little did we know, AFTER DEATH the stories change. I cannot believe that all my life especially, in the last many years as everyone’s parents are passing, that behind the black curtain, the black clothes, the tears, the wonderful food the church ladies put on…that there lurks dark drama. At least I can say that we never paid attention or ever knew what went on behind the scenes till death touched US.
Human nature cannot be denied and it causes problems. Amazingly upon our death, we also attended another funeral of someone who was involved with our funeral…and the story we discovered……Bottom line, we live parallel lives! There is nothing new under the sun, quote…GOD. Local jargon…SSDD.
So the question on the table is…to will or not to will? To describe the family I will leave behind some day is to walk on eggshells in the midst of a mine field. One never knows where the earthquakeexplosiontornadobombaccidentdisaster will come from. There is danger in simply saying,”Hello, how are you?” You all might be laughing, but it’s best to weed the flower plot, take my blood pressure pills, mind my own damn business, KNOWING the shaking of the earth is coming and brace myself.
One wants nothing. One wants it all. One wants some. One wants back what they gave…back. One doesn’t give a damn. One wants what they are given. One sits and watches………And behind the facade, are beginning tremors of the earth shaking. So basically it’s a lose lose situation. It’s back to the basics, that human nature causes problems and there’s no way to make things work peacefully and that is true from family to family. And now reflecting back to when our parents lost their parents, oh my! The stories are ugly. Yet this has been a time of re-education to figure out what to do as per other similar families and situations. Knowing what others have done previously, historically…in our family, the nature of our people, I will give lovingly to my children, through a STRONG neutral non-member of the family, executor, some funds, some personal things I treasure that I think they might enjoy and all the rest I am going to donate to auction and the proceeds go to an animal shelter. It doesn’t matter what I do because there is no way to please anyone.. the ground shaking already………SSDD!
