This is a hard one. We’ve had a tuff year with Russ getting sick. Was out on a trip to Grand Island Neb in April and the doctor’s office called and said he had pneumonia and to get medicine. He did not know he was ill, but complained of his lungs hurting, but could it be the heart? What followed was 5 months of intense x-rays between cardiologists, our own doctor visits and then the pulmonary doctor. Add to the mix every kind of test known to mankind for the heart…and lungs. One test showed numbers indicating a clogged widow maker. Then all the heart tests at the hospital showed he had a fine athlete’s heart. He started getting tremendously tired and one day walked off the golf course after 7 holes. Naps started. Five months of testings waiting on the answers….We were prepared for anything, but one thing for sure, he was going elk hunting!
The challenge for me was that I had to hide MY symptoms. I could not breathe. To walk across the room was getting more difficult. I experienced chest pains and now I was waking at night gasping for air. I knew I had to have that xray they put Russ through but I couldn’t say anything. First we had to find out about him. I decided on my 2 year sabbatical so I could put my affairs in order. I put together my funeral plans. Bought the music to be played, laid out the order of my pictures…..My family knows I am anal about order in my chaotic life so they thought it was cool that I was doing all this. But more and more they noticed my wheezing and accepted this as getting older. I had been diagnosed with COPD years earlier, yet it seemed as it was accelerating overnight. I began to wonder if I would outlive my 95 year old mom in law. Would my 14 year old dog outlive me?
FINALLY after all the smoke cleared, we were happy to find out that Russ has allergies and asthma. They gave him stuff to inhale in the morning and night and he’s a new man! ! ! All symptoms gone. Thank you Jesus.
Meanwhile I can do a chore for 30 mins and sit for 30 minutes. So sad that I’m near the end. How much more can I take? I have so much more to do in life, hopefully the Lord has more need of me here…I didn’t say anything to anyone knowing our next bi-annual doctor appointments were in another 6 weeks. On that day I broke down and cried and told Russ there would be a bad report at the doctors’. I was prepared not to be able to come home but have immediate open heart surgery AND be put on oxygen……I had to do laundry early that morning…I knew I was not coming home.
What a shock! My lab reports were fine….oh, the COPD, the Doctor said my chest didn’t sound that bad and I would get that same inhalator that Russ got and all would be well. My heart showed no problems, the mammogram was normal….Fear had gripped me over all those months of waiting; FEAR, false evidence appearing real, had flat done a number on me.
Eight days later, symptoms gone, I still have not started using the inhaler…Been busy, busy replanting my flowers outside. Methinks to celebrate my good news I’m going to start painting rooms inside, when Russ goes elk hunting…..and there’s still a month of garage sales left before the snow flies. I must count my blessings!
The picture on the cover is that of my son Steven who died suddenly several days later of SIDS….a lifetime ago. He would have been 48. We just need to be overcomers as we never know what tomorrow brings.
